The Right Volume

I had a dream last night in which I was trying to hide a dead body in a black trash bag amongst a large pile of similar bags containing yard trash. It was unclear whether I was responsible for the murder or just assisting in a cover up.

I woke up and immediately began thinking of the things I’d been intending to do but haven’t gotten around to doing (writing more on voice, loving on my husband, opening all the mail) and I became aware of how it all made me feel: GUILTY.

Then I remembered the dream and felt the message loud and clear: You should feel guilty and ashamed.

I had a Wait-a-second moment, and thought, Where’s this all coming from? I thank God for that moment as it will mean the difference in my day being one of imprisonment versus one lived in freedom.

When faced with a feeling of guilt I have to distinguish between what’s from the Lord and what’s from the Enemy. The Holy Spirit’s conviction leads to a sweet repentance that feels “right” and a connectedness with Him. The Enemy’s accusation leads to shame that feels oppressive and leads to hiding.

Think fig leaves. Except, in this case, even my leaves were hiding in black plastic.

So I’m embracing the newly revealed murderess in me by saying “No” to Guilt and Shame. Death to you both. I have nothing to hide. Yes, I’m a sinner and will let people down, but that’s just stating the truth and there’s no shame in that.

It feels good to identify the difference between the enemy’s guilt and the Holy Spirit’s conviction. I can now move about the cabin confident and free to love Him and others in truth and vulnerability.

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Photo credit: Sourced via Flickr, arthus.erea, Creative Commons

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